This month I planned on following up on last month’s topic,
early experiments in African American education, with a history of educators offering progressive commentary on them. Instead, I can’t get past a recent self-discovery and reflection. While I have been doing some light coding for years to automate small features on MS Access databases, or to build data visualizations, there was always something about coding loops (iterative processes) that always took time for my mind to process.
Suddenly this week, as I was working on a small challenge to clean up data in a database field, my mind presented to me a loop that would fix the problem. How does this happen?
How is it that our minds, without notice, can evolve in such a way that cognitive processes that used to slow us down, can now become the solution at which we first arrive? With further reflection I have found a clue.
My senior year of high school, while playing my adolescent rival (my best friend at the time) in basketball, I discovered a behind-the-back crossover that got me past him with every drive. It was so effective I figured it couldn’t possibly be legal. So I stopped doing it. Ironically, instead of exploiting a clear advantage, I held back.
To those readers not familiar with how devastating a good crossover can be, here’s a quick demonstration. Of course, this isn’t actually me.
“Ironically, instead of exploiting a clear advantage, I held back. “
That thought–holding back on a clear advantage–has had me reflecting since the middle of the month when I first starting writing this post. Even in my everyday life, years later, I’m realizing that I have continued to hold back.
It came to one of those moments when you say, “what is wrong with me?” I started slipping down one of those self-diagnosis holes while googling terms like, “self-sabotage”, or “power moves”. Those searches took me to Anthony Robbins-ish kinds of sites or YouTube videos. I also took a look at a few podcasts…but they seemed too much like Pop Psychology. There’s a place for those kinds of resources, but not here.
Perhaps its as simple as deciding that I deserve to win. Back when I did get on the court, I intended to win. But intending and playing to win are two different prospects. The latter takes a kind of mindset that focuses all of your efforts on your target. Perhaps it is the belief that one deserves to win that sparks creativity and innovation. Maybe the belief converts intention into those kinds of moments when you defy your own previous limitations.
I started writing these posts to get at ways of inspiring high achievement in our youth, but this singular thought has now dominated my own reflection. I have to clarify my own beliefs about achievement in everyday life to fulfill this purpose.
It would seem that by now, I would already possess this kind of clarity. But perhaps these moments are among God’s great gifts to humanity–the continued self-discovery that is possible for those who pray for it and then seek it out.
Tomorrow I am going to “step onto the court again”. With a fresh perspective of my skills, I’m going beyond intention. I’m going to re-run an image like the gif above in my mind and ask myself, “what is the crossover move in this situation?” No more holding myself back, I’m playing to win.
